Saturday, July 2, 2011

Hey everyone, just so you know

According to noted movie critic and cultural savant Bill Simmons, as published on the Official ESPN Spinoff Blog For Stuff That In Many Cases Is (Somehow) Too Stupid To Be Published On, the following people are not movie stars:

Paul Rudd
Josh Brolin
James Franco
Jesse Eisenberg

But the following people ARE movie stars:

Justin Timberlake
Zach Galifanakis
Seth Rogen
Kevin James

So in other words, even when taking part in an argument centered around a criterion that's so subjective that it should be impossible to be wrong, he's wrong. COOOOOOOOME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. He's gotta be baiting me at this point. I'm very sorry for letting myself descend further into Bill's world of mental midgetry, and for inviting you to descend with me by making this post.

I'm not linking it, find it yourself.


waffleboy said...

Some things you could also learn from Bill this week: Ryan Reynolds is not a true movie star; No One Denies This! Scarlet Johanson is past her peak hotness, and Leonardo DeCaprio is totally overrated.
Remember when people used to wish that Bill would write more often?

Jack M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jack M said...

The only thing he's baiting you into is admitting that you're jealous of the fact that he's Bill Simmons, and conversely, you're Larry B, who one day aspires to study law.

Jack M said...

Also, his article on The Killing makes the movie star article look like a Joe Posnanski/Bill James chat about Derek Jeter's value to the 2011 Yankees.