Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Somehow Barry Petchesky looks like the bigger asshole in his attempted takedown on Favre

Everyone hates Favre and all the attention the end of his streak has got, and Deadspin writer, Barry Petchesky, had a typically dipshit postmodern take on it. The passages that most annoyed me were these:

Cal Ripken played in 2,632 straight games. That number would be unthinkable in football, because it's football. If Ripken properly stretched his hamstrings, his only opportunities for injury were the odd play at the plate or a runner trying to take him out while he turned the double play. That's baseball: guys tend not to run into each other.

That's completely retarded. By Barry's definition, any baseball player that goes on the DL is one of the following:

1. A fool for not stretching that day.
2. The world's biggest pussy.
3. A vile sinner who angered God enough to be struck down by a freak accident on the baseball field.

Hit by pitches, the grind of playing games almost every day for six months, fielding hazards, etc. are not valid excuses for taking a day off or going on the disabled list.

And let's face it: quarterbacks in the 21st century are a lot closer to kickers in the punishment they take than they are to linemen, or even skill positions or the secondary.

Textbook false dichotomy: linemen, skill position, secondary players are contacted on every play whereas QB's and kickers are not. Therefore, QB's are like kickers. QED to everyone who hasn't seen the end of this awesome video, or people who don't know that Aaron Rodgers has now suffered two concussions in thirteen games this season.

Rules have been changed to protect them. Flags are thrown on those hitting them at the slightest provocation.

Try telling that to Ben Roethlisberger's nose after it was disfigured on an illegal hit by Haloti Ngata which went uncalled.

Between sacks, QB sneaks and making the occasional tackle after an interception, Brett Favre probably received full contact on 5 plays a game.

And this is why Barry Petchesky is a bigger asshole than Favre. Say what you will about what a self-absorbed prick Brett Favre is, but you really can't question that he's tough as shit. The guy was the 5th most efficient passer last year at the age of 40, after having torn his biceps tendon the previous season. I don't care what anyone says, that is fucking nuts. Of course, he did only receive "full contact on 5 plays a game," so I guess it was all incredibly easy in hindsight.


Biggus Rickus said...

Kurt Warner nearly had his career cut short by concussions. Chris Miller (who came into the league only a couple of years before Favre) did have his career cut short by concussions. Matt Stafford, who I think proved his toughness in the Cleveland game last year, can't stay on the field because his shoulders keep getting beat to hell. And so on and so forth. Playing QB is f-ing dangerous, and it's amazing that no nagging thing has kept Favre out of a game until now. It's also a little lucky that he never suffered anything severe enough to cause him to miss a season or the bulk of one.

Chris W said...

Me and Larry were gchatting the other day about how fucking full of shit Petchesky's earlier article excoriating Cavs fans for hating LeBron James, reasoning that the only reason they hated LeBron James was because they don't understand how free-agency works. In short, Barry Petchesky is a moron.

Anonymous said...

I hate Favre as much as any person on the planet that I don't know personally, but this article was such a crock of shit. What's more hilarious is when Petchesky says "Cal Ripken played in 2,632 straight games. That number would be unthinkable in football, because it's football," well NO-FUCKING-SHIT you goddamn moron. Maybe that number would be unthinkable in football because a player would have to play in every game for 164.5 straight seasons. That amount of "grit" would even make Favre jealous.

cs said...

Keep in mind he acutally UNDERLINED the word football in that sentence.

cs said...

Also, borrowing a thing from Bill Simmons, what's the over/under on how many times so far we've seen "last play" of Favre's career in replay? 313? I mean, I just watched it replayed 5 times in a row on Sportscenter and that play happened 10 days ago. Every time they talk about Favre, the Metrodome, or Cliff Lee, they sneak that shit in there.

Anonymous said...

I just read this to somebody I work with (who's also a dipshit), and he agreed with Petchesky. Like I said...dipshit. He told me he'll count this sunday how many full contact plays a QB is involved in.

Elliot said...

Tell him to count how many 41-year-old HOF (pervert douche) QBs there are. I fucking hate defending Favre.

Jack M said...

I should clarify and say that not all QB's and offensive lines are created equal. It certainly seems like there have been years where Peyton Manning and Tom Brady have combined to get hit 5 times all season (minor hyperbole). Even then, it wasn't enough to save Brady from that season ending knee injury. Also, for every quarterback who rarely gets hit like Peyton Manning, it feels like there are a half-dozen Favres and Rodgers who have to scramble around and get drilled at a rather high rate.

Jeff said...

I dislike both Ripken and Favre but if his streak is more than 23% higher than Gehrig's and more than twice as high as the number 3 guy. That's pretty nuts.

Alex said...

Ok, lemme put you on the spot and ask to define "post modern." Let's go academic!

No contact on the QB? As you guys pointed out, that's ridiculous. Please allow me to add another name: Michael Vick.

Chris W said...

Post-modern refers to art or criticism written from the perspective that structure informs all art, that art itself is subject to the vagaries of the metaphysical universe, and that artistry can not speak objectively or outside of the third space of art between author and viewer.

Basically what it boils down to is: self-consciousness that what is being written, filmed, or painted is a work of writing, film, or visual art.

Alex said...

It's all Derrida to me.

Chris W said...

I was disappointed because when he said "Play" I thought he meant legos or tag or something like that.