Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Barry Petchesky Has a Quick Douchebag Turnover Rate

Dear Devin Hester:

Be a bigger douchebag! Or something?

Love,

Barry Petchesky


After breaking the NFL record for return touchdowns, Hester took the podium and before any questions were even asked, emotionally thanked his coaches and teammates. I know he's got to do it, but c'mon. He's earned the right to brag.

Hester's 14th return TD came in his 74th game and 286th return. Brian Mitchell, the previous record-holder, reached 13 in 223 games and 1070 returns. That's fucking bananas. But there was Hester, deflecting all the credit to his coaches and blockers.


I guess we can praise the coaches for being sensible enough to put the greatest single-situation weapon in NFL history in the game in those situations. And while I'm sure Hester's been the beneficiary of some great blocks over the years, I'm also pretty certain that the 2006-2010 Chicago Bears weren't the greatest blocking team of all time. I'm sure Football Outsiders can figure that one out, but plenty of return men have had great return teams. No one has ever scored 14 times.

If ever there was a time for a player to say, "You know what, forget my teammates. I did this myself," this is it. Maybe Devin Hester isn't so great at running routes, or even catching a football. That's fine. He's fast, and he can cut and he can see holes no one else can, and because of that he's one of the few players alive you don't dare take your eyes off of when he's got the ball. It's a limited skill set, but when it comes to doing what he does best, he is the best.

(courtesy of palehosed.com)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

He really shows how dumb he is with his comment about the Bears not being the best blocking team in the world during Hester's career. The Bears have the best kick return team in the league, punts or kickoffs it doesn't matter. That is why Danieal Manning has led the league in kickoff return average in the past. That's why the Bears constantly have good field position no matter who returns kicks for them.

Hester is the best return man ever, but for Petchesky to dismiss the contributions of the Bears return unit and return schemes shows a fucking colossal lack of understanding of just how Hester reached this historical mark. The Bears have the perfect combo of the most dangerous return man in league history and the best special teams coach in the NFL. Any team that's dumb enough to give him a chance to break one deserves what they get.

In other words, Barry Petchesky is fucking stupid.

Chris W said...

My thoughts exactly, anon. There is no way to downplay how Hester's elusiveness and agility have made him an elite KR and perhaps the best of all time. But the Bears have ran out some mediocre players at KR and PR and they have generally been very successful as well. Jerry Azumah and Danael Manning come to mind. Obviously the combination of Hester's electric abilities and that Bears special teams unit makes for much greater potential playmaking ability than with Azumah or Manning back there--a testament to Hester, who deserves all the credit in the world for his accomplishments--but to completely "punt" the special teams issue is absolutely absurd on Petchesky's part.

Not as absurd as the central concept of his post about how Hester should be more egotistical (huh?) because he's earned it. But pretty fucking absurd.

Chris W said...

Furthermore: RW "fucking" McQuarters

Larry B said...

I think it's pretty obvious by now that we're all just jealous of Barry Petchesky because we want his job. He's the new Simmons. Let's admit it and move on.

Chris W said...

Have you heard of this one site? Deadspin?

Anonymous said...

Johnny Knox was a Pro-Bowl Return Man last year.

Clearly Hester does it all on his own, no help from best special teams unit in the NFL.

Anonymous said...

I had blocked R-Dub McQuarters from my memory. Ugh.