Sunday, November 14, 2010

GAH. Please Don't Do That

Jaguars QB David Garrard, on his game-winning 50 yard TD pass to Mike Thomas (fast forward to about 7:15 on this video):

I couldn't tell if he caught it... if there was even a play on the ball... and then I saw him running into the end zone. I didn't know what to do. I thought I was gonna just- literally explode right there.

Imagine that literally happened. Literally grosser than that time Joe Theisman's leg literally snapped in two back in the day? I literally believe so.

Adding some much-need clarity to his comment, Garrard continues:

On impact. Right there.

On impact? I'm literally befuddled.

23 comments:

Jack M said...

I'd just like to know what Gregggg Easterbrook thinks about the fact that the Texans lost because their DB didn't selfishly go for an interception.

Elliot said...

On the other hand, Gus Johnson's call on the play was literally really exciting.

Tonus said...

Garrard was referring to the boner he had as the play unfolded. He really did "literally explode ... on impact." Fortunately, he literally kept it in his pants.

Bengoodfella said...

This annoys the shit out of me too. Idiots seem to believe if they put the word "literally" in front of what they are saying it adds dramatic impact to their statement. It doesn't. It means it actually happened. Idiots.

Anonymous said...

A) I'm pretty sure Garrard was not writing a sports column or article.

B) He probably isn't a paid journalist and doesn't hold a journalism or English degree.

C) He is using "literally" correctly in his statement. How impressive would it be to say "I was gonna just figuratively explode"? He most likely DID figuratively explode. In this case, he is making the outrageous claim that he THOUGHT he was going to actually explode.

Chris W said...

At the risk of sounding prickly or combatative: Go fuck yourself, anonymous

Larry B said...

He shouldn't be in charge of leading a multimillion dollar enterprise (specifically Jacksonville's offense) if he thinks it's possible for people to actually explode from excitement. One of two things is true: 1) he was using it incorrectly, as I imagine Anonymous does frequently, or 2) he is too stupid to be an NFL QB.

Has anyone here every heard of Deadspin.com? It posts much more frequently than this blog.

Biggus Rickus said...

I kind of agree with Anonymous. In context he is saying, "I felt like I was going to literally explode," using hyperbole to try and capture the excitement of the moment. I'm pretty sure Garrard doesn't believe in spontaneous combustion. And if Mike Vick and Ben Roethlisberger are smart enough to be starting QBs, I'm pretty sure Garrard qualifies.

Anonymous said...

"every heard"! What a fucking moron! I hope you get sterilized so you can never procreate!


"At the end of the marathon, my legs FELT like they were literally on fire"

"After spending 70 seconds underwater, I THOUGHT my heart was going to literally burst out of my chest"

Bengoodfella said...

Anon, people tend to use the term literally out of context all the time. They literally use it every day.

Elliot said...

The LB hater (I would say haters, but there seems to be only one) is LITERALLY grasping at straws.

dan-bob said...

Hey, I'm an LB hater.

Biggus Rickus said...

By LB you mean linebacker, right? Fuck those guys.

Chris W said...

Can we just blow up the internet once and for all?

dan-bob said...

I think Ray Lewis tried to.

Jack M said...

That was uncalled for, Dan-Bob.

Larry B said...

My favorite part was when Anonymous stopped by to drop some knowledge on all of us

Chris W said...

I only wish he had followed in the footsteps of past anonymi and gave us suggestions on how to make the site better

Tim N said...

From Anon: I actually enjoy the site, been checking in for a couple of years, and love the critiques of TMQ and Peter King - maybe because they're "dumb members of the sports media". I just don't see the point in slamming a non-media member athlete for an unscripted comment that, by the way, happens to be grammatically correct - even if totally unnecessary.

Chris W said...

It's Larry's pet peeve. And a fairly justified pet peeve in my admittedly biased opinion. I think that's been pretty clearly established. Nitpicking a nitpick by explaining how if you squint just right, Garrard might have conceivably been justified in saying that seems slightly ironical to me. Kind of like how Mangini used to work for Belichik but last week he beat Belichik.

Now THAT'S ironic!

Tim N said...

I guess I'm confused then, 'cause I thought the entire point of this blog was nitpicking.


Irregardless, continue to keep up the supposably good work.

Chris W said...

Right but criticizing Larry B for nitpicking BY nitpicking is a certain sort of dramatic irony, is all's I was saying.

Carry on, carry on...nothing really matters

Larry B said...

For clarification, I wasn't really slamming Garrard. Didn't mean for it to come off like that. Just pointing out that what he said was kind of funny. When King, or Simmons, or some other re-re whose job involves writing does it- then I slam. Here it was more meant to be a "haha check this out" kind of post.