That Was One Hell of an All-Star Game, Wasn't It?
Too bad this post has very little to do with the game in question. It's more crap about A-Rod from Rick Morrissey.
Crede is no A-Rod ... thank goodness
Yeah, thank goodness. Because then the White Sox would have an absolute stranglehold on the AL Central and then baseball would be less exciting. That's what you're getting at, right?
No wait....you write for a Chicago newspaper. It has to be the other meaning. The stupid one.
Sitting at a table amid a gob of reporters and cameramen, Alex Rodriguez was talking about his life, which might or might not include Madonna, who, by the way, might be using Jewish mysticism to brainwash A-Rod into thinking the two are "soulmates," according to friends of Rodriguez's estranged wife, as reported by the New York Daily News, which keeps track of these things.
This is pretty much entirely the media's fault, when you think about it.
"Look, everyone has distractions, everyone goes through personal issues," Rodriguez was telling the gathered media Monday. "Mine are on the front page of the papers."
See? And you're making it worse. I saw the front page of the actual Chicago Tribune newspaper today, and these words of Rick Morrissey were written on it. It's like circular reasoning, man. "Thank God that Crede is no A-Rod, because A-Rod has widely publicized personal issues that are exacerbated by me writing this sentence on the front page of a newspaper."
A few minutes later and several tables away, Joe Crede was talking to five reporters about his distractions, which would be "A" material for the cover of Parenting magazine only if he came up with something like a revolutionary toilet-training method.
"The biggest excitement in my life are my two girls, 4 and 2," he said. "That's all the excitement I need right there.
Awwwwwww!
Alex Rodriguez, Joe Crede. I always get them mixed up.
This is sarcastic, I know. But what's your point?
They're both third basemen. They're both American League All-Stars. They used to be connected at the agent, Scott Boras, until Rodriguez decided to work out his own deal last year.
Uh huh....great.
That would pretty much sum up the similarities between the New York superstar and the White Sox's resurrected infielder.
This is interesting because......
This is Rodriguez's 12th All-Star Game, Crede's first.
::rereads and copies article title::
Crede is no A-Rod ... thank goodness
You serious, dude?
Rodriguez is the Yankee with the two-ton contract. Crede is the guy who would like a new contract from the Sox.
Again, true statements, but these have no relevance to any point you are trying to make.
The Sox didn't exactly leave him for dead in the off-season, but they were seen holding a stethoscope.
Are all the sports cartoonists in the room done laughing yet? The rest of us didn't find this one to be all that witty.
And they sure were talking a lot about an ascendant Josh Fields at third.
Maybe because he hit 23 HR in 373 AB last year?
Whether you believe they were furiously trying to trade Crede and his balky back depends on the person doing the talking.
No, it fucking doesn't. They were absolutely trying to dump him. They were showcasing him for a trade all spring and he played like Tomas Perez. Kenny Williams asked Brian Sabean for Fred Lewis, and even Sabean understood it was a ripoff and laughed in Kenny's face. Kenny Williams literally would have taken a vending machine in exchange for Joe Crede in spring training.
But it's indisputable that Crede is here at the All-Star Game.
Of course it's indisputable you fucking twat.
"Hi, I'm Rick Morrissey. It's indisputable that Joe Saunders is a pitcher."
Sometimes standing still — or being forced to stand still — is the best thing for a team.
God, that's great philosophy. Do you write books, sir? Maybe you should be a GM.
Forgive Crede for taking some pleasure in this. Thirteen months ago, he couldn't lift his children because of his back. Six months ago, as he rehabbed from back surgery, he was the subject of trade rumors.
Sure, of course he should be happy about his comeback. I don't think he should go around bragging about his .325 OBP or his .259 EqA though. Did I mention he in no way deserved to be on the All-Star team? Because if I didn't, let me declare this to the world.
Ahem.
Joe Crede in no way deserved to be on the All-Star team. If you are being generous, he has been the 7th best 3rd baseman in the American League this year, behind A-Rod, Lowell, Rolen, Longoria, Guillen, and ::gasp:: Adrian Beltre. He has 17 errors, which people with a fully functional brain would deem terrible. The fact that he made the All-Star team this year is living proof that you can't use All-Star game appearances at all to prove that a player has played well in a given season.
But yeah, I mean all that stuff about not being able to lift his kids and rehabs and back surgery and rainbows and lollipops and trade rumors and....shucks, you're probably right, Morrissey.
Now he's backing up A-Rod at the All-Star Game.
Which is an honor because A-Rod is great, but.....
Crede is no A-Rod ... thank goodness
So it's awesome, because Crede deserves a world of respect for his comeback, which you are epitomizing by saying he's backing up an awesome player at the All-Star game, an awesome player whom, as your title states, you are glad Crede is nothing like.
It has come to my attention that several readers have developed migraines upon reading these things Morrissey has said. Remember, friends, don't kill the messenger!
If the Sox are smart, they will work something out with Crede.
If the Sox are smart, they would realize that having a pretty good 3B prospect at AAA that has already proven he has a future at the big league level would merit passing on Crede, an overrated player that is guaranteed to demand more than he is worth as a free agent, no matter how much he is worth at season's end.
But I mean, he couldn't lift his kids 13 months ago, so eh, I dunno Morrissey, what do you think? The evidence in both directions is astounding!
The All-Star selection would seem to be proof that his formerly aching back isn't an issue.
Again, we've had this discussion. Jason Varitek was an All-Star. He is hitting .218/.299/.354. What. The. Fuck. Is. Your. Point. Question. Mark?
Aside from a first half uncharacteristically filled with errors, he has been a rock at third base.
::reads sentence again to make sure that he isn't dreaming.::
Aside from a first half uncharacteristically filled with errors, he has been a rock at third base.
This might be the stupidest sentence I have ever read.
Okay readers, I can't do this one justice. We'll turn this over to you. What would be the funniest line to write here? Make it in the form of "Aside from _______, (something) has been (phrase basically saying (something) has been good)."
Here's an example. "Aside from all the holes in the bottom, this plastic bag has been great for containing water." You guys are creative, I trust you'll make them good! FireJay bloggers, get in on this one as well!
18 comments:
"Aside from the fact that he leads the league in passed balls, errors, and catcher's interference calls, his pitchers have the highest ERA in the world, and Paul Konerko once stole three bases off of him, Catcher ____ has done an extremely solid job behind the dish!"
Aside from writing terrible columns, Rick Morrissey has been a fine newspaper man.
Maybe he's burned out from stalking Mariotti. Morrissey would rather be covering the Bears.
The thing is, Crede's been horrible defensively this year, but he's still better out there than Josh Fields.
i'm very frustrated by your comment, John Foley. It's just so unrealistic.
Everyone knows Paulie Konerko couldn't steal second even if Venus de Milo were the catcher
"Aside from a very recent All-Star game, this year's was 100% unique in that it went extra innings and almost didn't end!"
This makes sense if you read the opening to Jayson Stark's article this morning:
" NEW YORK -- It was an All-Star Game unlike any other.
That, of course, is because the first 78 All-Star Games actually ended."
Right. It's not like there was a suspended All-Star game in 2002 prompting a ridiculous knee-jerk reaction rule. Too bad Jayson couldn't remember that far back.
Aside from kittens, The Napoleonic War has been super big hat gold!
Aside from the fact that this post didn't utilize the newly-created "god don't you just HATE that AROD??????" label it was actually pretty funny. Oh wait...I can say that without any sarcasm.
Aside from the fact that he's a blowhard with no consistency to his opinions that doesn't do any research to back up his claims, Jay Mariotti deserves the Pulitzer Prize.
anonymous #2 - Ask and ye shall receive! (label added)
I have read some Rick Morrissey columns and did not think they were that bad. This one was.
Aside from the fact A Rod is a better fielder, hitter, and runner than Joe Crede, Joe Crede is a better ball player than A Rod.
rick morrissey has to be the most "INCOSISTET" columnist in Chicago, if not in the country.
Sometimes he'll have some pretty killer articles (even some calling out his own paper's pro-Cub conflict of interest/media bias). Other times he'll just put out pap smears like this.
WEIRD.
Chris, I like to think maybe the paper forces Morrissey to write at least one puff piece about a ball player a month and the rest of the time he can go back to his serious journalistic ways.
I also like to think they do this because these piece of shit puff pieces turn off so many readers it does not make Jay Mariotti look like the hack that he truly is. There is no way Morrissey (the writer) could be as inconsistent as to post great columns and then this non sensical type of crap piece.
Aside from the fact that he's an irredeemable douchebag, Bill Simmons has been an alright guy.
Let me see if I understand this correctlt: Morrissey's premise is that he'd rather had Joe Crede than A-Rod because Crede's home life is more stable and because he is not feeling the ill effects of his recent back troubles?
Maybe Morrissey should stick to bad emo music and forget about this sportswriting thing.
Aside from an uncharacteristic bout with syphilis, I've been a model of sexual health this year.
Wait, were they supposed to be jokes?
Aside from the times they booed Santa, booed a potentially paralyzed Michael Irvin, and threw batteries at pretty much anyone they didn't like, Philly sports fans are generally a class act.
aside from the fact that he has a career marked with great years interspersed with mediocre-to-quite-lousy years, Paul Konerko has generally been a model of consistency.
Aside from the fact that he preferred to play a woefully out-of-position Rob Mackowiack at the position in 2006 and a former punter douchebag there in 2007, and a journeyman lightweight patrolman in 2008, Brian Anderson has generally been Ozzie Guillen's first choice in Centerfield.
Aside from the fact that he is not 35 years old, Jose Contreras is 35 years old.
Aside from the fact that he used to be cavalierly racist, put out cigarettes on his arm, and abuse alcohol at the expense of a promising career, Bobby Jenks has never had any problems in his past.
Aside from the fact that it was completely awesome and perhaps the greatest moment in baseball history, AJ Pierzynski stomping on Aaron Boone's back down the stretch run of 05 was a completely reprehensible thing to do.
And here's one that is not a joke:
Aside from its unfortunate connotations and regrettable display of ignorance, Ozzie Guillen's comments toward Jay Mariotti in 2006 were tremendously laudable.
Aside from his occasional hilarious outbursts outside Sbarro towards larry's girlfriend, Chris w enjoys the company of vegetarians.
Aside from the one time with the window, Tommy has helped many people rebuild their houses.
Aside from the one time where Notre Dame won eight football games in a row, Notre Dame fans hate black people.
Aside from when hockey was a relevant sport in the USA, Jarrett has been an important and valued contributor to FJayM.
I'm out! PEACE!
Wait....Phillies fans are famous for throwing batteries?
That Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode featuring John Kruk suddenly makes sense now.....
I'm going to give the prize to citizenx for best "Aside from..." quote. It must have taken a lot of courage to reveal that information to a bunch of nerdy internet strangers. =)
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