LOSER: NBA TV
Thanks to March Madness, the NBA's home station had stumbled into a ratings jackpot on Sunday night:
Here's how much I wanted to see that game …
I hate five teams and only five:
WINNER: The Cavs
LeBron's old franchise gave Miami two of its toughest streak battles — including win no. 24, when the undermanned Cavs led by 27 points before LeBron flicked on his Dom Toretto honorary NOS switch. Even better, one Cleveland fan benevolently jogged onto the court during a key moment while wearing a "LEBRON 2014" T-shirt, planting the seeds for his eventual comeback, which has to happen if LeBron has anything resembling a heart beating inside that superhuman body.
He Got Game II: South Beach
HD, Ray Allen, Michael Douglas (2013) — After stabbing his old teammates from Boston in the back with a 15-inch butcher's knife,
Better or worse than one of Gregggggggggggg's fake movie scripts or cheerleader cheers? You decide.
[Long paragraph about what a genius Erik Spoelstra is, which, sure, good for Spoelstra for managing to guide a team with the best player in the league and two other guys in the top forty to a good record. Bully for him.]
And that's how this played out. Eschewing shot blockers and rebounders,
You're a fucking idiot.
LOSER: Kevin Durant
With 10 games remaining in the season, he's averaging 28.2 points, 7.9 rebounds and 4.5 assists per game (borderline Bird territory). He's headed for his fourth straight scoring title, something only Wilt and MJ have pulled off. He's shooting 50.2 percent from the field, 41 percent on 3s and 90.7 percent from the charity stripe, giving him a phenomenal chance to become just the sixth player ever to make the 50-40-90 Club. (The others: Bird, Nash, Dirk, Reggie and Price.) Oh, and he's the best player on a 60-win team.
How efficient is Kevin Durant? He's going to lead the league in scoring without leading his own team in field goal attempts.
You too, Westbrook. You keep doing that other damn thang.
WINNER: The concept of NBA adulthood
You know the biggest reason the Heat won 27 games?
In 2010, I wrote that Miami couldn't win the title without quality role players, that every lesson from NBA history told us three guys wasn't enough, that it absolutely HAD to be a team effort (at least eight guys).
ALSO THE CELTICS SHOULD GET PART OF THE 2012 FINALS TROPHY BECAUSE THEIR CONFERENCE FINALS SERIES WITH THE HEAT PROPELLED THE HEAT PAST THE THUNDER.
WINNER: Dwyane Wade
He was already the fourth-best shooting guard of all time (trailing only MJ, Kobe and West),
Pre-streak: 1.1 orpg/game, 3.6 drpg/game. During streak: 1.6 orpg/game, 4.0 drpg/game. During the ten games of the streak that the Heat won by single digits: 1.7 orpg/game. Really just sounds like he decided to start crashing all of the boards again, regardless of the size of the moment. But you'd have to agree that it makes Bill sound smarter when he says it his way.
protected his body by not barreling recklessly to the hole (he's on pace to shoot nearly half as many free throws as he did in 2006), and generally seemed like an older, wiser version of Dwyane Wade.
If he seemed that way, it's probably because he is 31, and not 24. I'm not saying what Bill is saying is untrue, I'm saying that a chimp could have provided it.
I never thought Miami would truly embrace its basketball destiny
Barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf
until Wade gave the car keys to LeBron (or vice versa), and that's what happened here. You have to give Wade credit. How many great basketball players would have been able to suck it up and say,That guy's better than me, he gives us a better chance to win.
Pretty much anyone who was given the chance to play with LeBron? How many guys would be like "sure, he's pretty good, but fuck that, I'm not passing to him."
It's been beautiful to watch. And since I'm a Celtics fan who just spent the past two paragraphs praising Dwyane Wade, lemme just add that he's delivered more sneaky/dirty/cheap bullshit plays over the years than any Hall of Famer since John Stockton (just so I can fall asleep tonight).
You know what, that's something Bill and I can agree on. Unfortunately I'm sure he'd never admit that Rajon Rondo is right up there with Wade on any list of the league's current dirtiest players.
PS- Rondo/Ewing Theory update: the Celtics have lost 9 of 13, and despite the fact that Rondo has now been out for almost exactly half the season, giving other players plenty of time to step up and try to fill the role of distributor, there is exactly one healthy player on the team averaging more than 3 apg (Pierce, with 4.8; he was averaging 3.8 at the time of the Rondo injury). THE THEORY IS REAL! CAWLL UP MALCOLM GLADWELL! HIS NEXT BOOK IS PRACTICALLY WRITING ITSFACKINSELF!