Keys to this Post: 1) Use a Computer 2) Type Something About the Sports Media

Presenting the [name of sponsor I forgot] keys to tonight's World Series game 5:

Yankees: Want a parade, not game 6

Now, this would be funny if the jackass producer/dumbshit intern who came up with it meant that the Yankees should actually focus on wanting a parade. Like, not on winning the game but on how much fun it would be to wave at cheering fans from a fire truck (whether they won the World Series or not). But I don't think that's what they meant. They meant that New York's "key to the game" is to want to win the game.

Phillies: Right guys have to hit

Who are the wrong guys to hit? Carlos Ruiz? Matt Stairs? Should they just give away at bats?

And yes, I know, a "keys to the game" segment is not exactly high-hanging fruit. Still, come on, FOX. At least pretend to try.