Well, That Settles That!!!!!

Gregg "I'm a fucking Idiot" Doyel:

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Hey, Texas. Hey, USC. Hey, anyone and everyone who doubted Oklahoma belonged in the Big 12 title game, and going forward, in the BCS title game:

Any questions?

I can't claim to speak for Texas or USC fans, since I hate both those fucking teams, but I'd imagine their questions would sound something like this:

TEXAS FAN: "My question is how does blowing out a team that we blew out by a similar margin prove that a team we beat belongs in the title game?"

USC FAN: "My question is when did we say OU didn't belong in the Big 12 title game? Also I have an unrelated question regarding Reggie Bush's living arrangements, but you don't have to answer that. Oh and one more question, which is, how does a pasting of an inferior team speak to the fact that Vegas thinks we're a better team than every CFB team on a neutral field?"

Texas, if they played 10 more times, might not be able to compete with Oklahoma.

TEXAS FAN: "From Gregg Doyel's mouth to my ears!"

USC FAN: "What does that have to do with me?"

I know, I know. If you're a Texas fan, maybe even if you're not, that's a hard argument to swallow. Kind of like a snake downing a goat. But I've seen pictures. Snakes can swallow goats. And if you open your mind, you can swallow this hard-to-believe truth:

Oklahoma deserves its spot in the BCS title game.

QED

Oklahoma over Texas? Sure, but the real question is whether Florida deserves to be in the BCS title game over Texas. Oklahoma is a no-brainer. Oklahoma is the best team in the country, and Saturday night at Arrowhead Stadium was Exhibit F. Exhibits A-E came Oct. 25 to Nov. 29, when the Sooners -- good and ticked off by that loss to Texas on Oct. 11 -- annihilated five Big 12 teams by an average score of 62-30.

Fair point. Florida doesn't deserve to be there. Unlike Oklahoma, who responded to a bad loss by annihilating their opponents, Florida has pretty much been squeaking by since their Ole Miss loss.

Touche. Too-fucking-shay.

Exhibit F was just as thorough. Just as frightening. Early in the third quarter it was 41-7, and Missouri's fans were gone. They'd seen enough. But not Oklahoma's fans. After the Sooners intercepted Chase Daniel with a 55-21 lead and five minutes to play, OU fans chanted, "We want 60, we want 60!"

Oklahoma complied, because Oklahoma is that good. Third-stringer Mossis Madu hurdled a defender and went 38 yards for a touchdown as the Sooners became the first team in NCAA history to score at least 60 points in five straight games.

Yeah, Florida's championship game was nowhere near as impressive. USC floundered on the road against UCLA, squeaking by in a real nailbiter. And Texas, well let's just say they're glad they didn't have to face the mighty Mizzou Tigers. They didn't even crack 60 the first time they played them!!!!!!

:(

This article, it just really really sucks. Doyel spends the rest talking about how

a.) OU has a Heisman candidate QB (unlike, I guess, Florida and Texas)
b.) OU has had to play without a standout WR and still won (unlike, I guess, Florida)
c.) Bradford spreads the ball around for OU (unlike, I guess, Tebow or McCoy)
d.) Bradford is really good at running the spread offense (Tebow has been mostly uneffective as a spread option QB)

And various other buttfuckeries. Don't get me wrong--I'm fine with OU in the NC game and I'm not crying any tears that Bama, USC, Texas, Texas Tech, and Penn State are all left out, despite the fact that they are also one loss teams.

But OU beating a mediocre Mizzou team doesn't really resolve the issue. And if it does resolve the issue, it's not for the bullshit fuckass reasons Gregg Doyel's propagating here.

What is it with dumb sportswriters named "Gregg"?