First, your Bill NFL gambling update. He went 7-6 last week, a nice big healthy step up from the 4-11 mark he posted the previous week. MNF is still in progress, but Bill took the Eagles and I'll give him that (currently 31-7 in the 2nd quarter). Thus he has gone 7-6 again this week, meaning that if you had shadowed him for the last 3 weeks (since returning from his suspension) and put $10 on every game, you'd only be down about $60. Meanwhile, Year of the Dog (tm)? You bet your swollen nutsack it is. Dogs went 7-6 last week, and assuming the Eagles hold on and cover, will go 3-10 this week. That brings them to 69-74 on the season so far. Year of the Dog. WHO SAYS NO?
Anyways, when we last left Bill, he was explaining why he considers certain NBA teams fun to watch and others not fun to watch. This kind of thought exercise is only carried out by people who don't actually like sports, and need to find a way to categorize and rank everything in order to have fun while watching the games which they're only watching while waiting for gossipy non-news things to happen. (A compulsive need to constantly make up or predict gambling lines is a classic symptom also present in this kind of fuckhead.) But just wait until you see the hotness of some of the hot takes he drops in this second half of his watchability rankings. I'm not including the actual rankings/point scores he and Lowe assigned to the teams, because that's stuff only idiots would care about, but just know that the commentary goes in ascending order from "mediocre to watch" to "OMG SO FUN TO WATCH BECAUSE THINK ABOUT THE CELEBS WHO WILL BE SITTING COURTSIDE." We start with the Rockets, who are a fun team to watch for a lot of reasons, one of which is that they employ one of the game's best shot blockers/defenders/rebounders.
Simmons: I don’t enjoy watching Dwight Howard play basketball. It’s that simple.
Monday, November 10, 2014
OK. Well that's another way to approach it I suppose. On one hand, Dwight Howard is an athletic freak who is good at basketball. On the other hand, maybe you don't like to watch him play basketball, because he's an asshole manchild, or because you're still mad that the 2009 Magic knocked the Celtics out of the playoffs, or something. Reasons. That's what Bill has. Reasons.
Lowe: I still love watching him play defense. He had some “Holy shit!” defensive moments in crunch time of that Portland series.
Yeah but! When you think about it, Bill really makes a great point here.