Allow me to indulge my Simmons jealousy by making a definitive and undoubtedly comprehensive list of all the things that make ESPN's brand of writing/reporting patently fucking worthless:
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
1) style, style, style, style.... substance? nope, no substance, but plenty of style
2) manufacturing "drama" from irrelevant sound bites
3) pandering to mouth-breathing football fans
4) beating tired or trite stories to death
5) speculating about things that require absolutely no speculation or even thought
6) spending 90% of their time talking about things that are going to happen and 10% on things that already happened, when it should be the other way around (which is sort of a subset of item #2)
Well, now we have this. I'm not sure I've ever seen all six items simultaneously on display in such spectacular fashion. (Note that I'm not bitching about the New York-ness of it since it's from ESPNNewYork.com.) As Greggggggg would note, Rex Ryan is a fat loudmouth so if the Jets lose on Saturday that's why. Unless they win, in which case Tom Coughlin's red-faced screaming and shouting is to blame. Unless Ryan was wearing more cold-weather clothing than Coughlin, in which case all bets are off.
What I'm trying to say is that ESPN can eat a bag of moldy taints.