Sunday, August 1, 2010

Long Post? Nope, Short Post

I was going to cover the latest pile of shit to stumble off of Simmons's unfunny fingertips, but it's so long-winded and terrible that I couldn't finish the post tonight. So instead I thought you might find it hilarious that FOX hired Kevin Millar to call baseball games. And similarly hilarious that he said this on Saturday during the Reds/Braves game:

Drew Stubbs has great speed. I was watching him during spring training, and he beat out a routine ground ball to the shortstop. Literally beat it out.

Did he kick the ball out of the stadium? Did he masturbate on it? I'm not sure how you literally beat out a grounder to short, and sadly, Kevin probably doesn't either. But hey, at least he doesn't look like a complete dumbass, right?

Oh. Frowny emoticon.


Anonymous said...

I hope you literally eviscerate Bill Simmons in your next post.

rich said...

Oh look LarryB wrote a post. He personifies the post-2008 FJM. If there was a gameshow called "what day did LarryB write a post" no one would ever win, because he never writes posts anymore. I called my dad the other day and he told me that the bloggers here at the site have lives and more important things to worry about, but I told him that he's an old fart and doesn't know shit about blogging patterns.

Furthermore, there just aren't any exciting writers on the staff anymore and sure, injuries have taken their toll, but I really think the posts are just becoming too long. I mean I have statistics that prove otherwise, but I totally think that's the main reason.

Because of the decline of this blog my internet time is down 30%. There's only so much porn you can look at before you forget the internet has other things.

Coming to this site back in the day was awesome. Then there was that really awesome post and it was just never the same. Sure the posts were still entertaining as hell, but the site just didn't have the same pizzaz it once had. Maybe if there were more flashing ads.


Chris W said...

Rich wins the thread

Elliot said...

My head is literally exploding right now.