Miami (Ohio) vs. Michigan. Televised on ESPN2. About 8 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Miami faces a 4th and 2 from the Michigan 15. Michigan leads 10-3. (That is to say, they're ahead by 7 points.) Dave Pasch and Andre Ware are your commentators.
Pasch: Well, what do you do here on 4th down? It's a tough call.
Ware: I think it's an easy call. You kick, take the points, and that puts you within a field goal.
Andre, come on. You can do better than that. Break out a calculator, or a slide rule, or maybe an abacus. Count it on your fingers if you have to. Ten minus three, buddy. Ten minus three.
EDIT: Maybe it would be more accurate to say ten minus three... minus three. But you know what I mean.
I'm pretty sure he meant that you kick a field goal for 3 points. Then, when Michigan isn't looking, you take 2 more points, which would put you within a field goal. He's definitely using advanced logical analysis and transcending what it means to score in a football game.
ReplyDeleteDid anybody watch the Yankee-Seattle game last night? I could have sworn the announcer said that cross-country trips "really get the team's libido going".
Who are the Yankees? What sport do they play?
ReplyDeletetake THAT andre ware.
ReplyDeleteBen, they play the Red Sox, and occasionally the Mets. There is no sport, they just play against each other.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he was thinking Miami could get a rouge on the kickoff, getting one point. Did Ware play in the CFL?
ReplyDeletewe all know ware got a college degree from a prestigious university due to his academic qualifications, right?
ReplyDeleteHow many things in that sentence were false?