Look, I love Tom Verducci. I don't say that with much caveat. He's probably my favorite traditional (read: Old-fashioned) sportswriter working today. He manages to let the game's story tell itself without romanticism or the curmudgeonliness that seems to typify non-advanced stats sportswriters. But man oh man, in this week's print SI, his World Series writeup (I can't find its counterpart online) is chock full of--as Hawk Harrelson might say--streeeeeeeeeetch(es). Observe:
One night last week, due to a lengthy rain delay, the ALCS preempted the Fox talent show The X Factor. Some viewers might not have noticed though, especially the way Rangers manager Ron Washington habitually went all Simon Cowell on his starting pitchers and showed them the door.
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Baseball's equivalent of the Geneva Convention, the established protocol of postseason engagement, has been suspended until further notice.
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Small ball? Great starting pitching? Big payrolls? The might of the Northeast Corridor? None of these supposed October truisms matter in 2011, a prime number year that lacks divisors (other than 1 and itself) and logic.
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Speaking of prime numbers, [Ron] Washington and St. Louis manager Tony La Russa combined to make a whopping 53 pitching changes.
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Ok. Whatever. Some brutal and/or overwrought metaphors/analogy/similes in there. But this one is my absolute favorite (read: spit take quality hackery):
For La Russa, the founding father of the modern specialized bullpen, running an eight-man relief unit with a day off every two or three is like Dennis Kozlowski throwing a birthday party or Charlie Sheen on the company dime in Vegas: There is no such thing as excess.
HEYO!
Is Rick Reilly ghost-writing for Verducci?
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