You're not gonna believe this, but when you play fantasy football, occasionally you might lose by three points. Keep it to yourself unless it's a one-of-a-kind defeat, like DeSean Jackson spiking a Monday night touchdown on the 1-yard line and costing every owner six points (and then they lose by five or less, which of course, happened to me, which is the only reason I remember that story). Or Westbrook turtling on the 1-yard line and costing someone a million-dollar Rich Guy league. (Yes, I know someone who lost a million dollars because of that play.)...Subjecting people to fantasy tales is like showing them Facebook photos. Yeah, they might be nodding, but they don't care. They don't.
Bill's most recent tweet:
This is me nodding.
Biggus,
ReplyDeleteGo back to his "no one is watching the Red Sox because the games are too long" article. He pretty much shits over each and every one of his rules there.
God that article was awful.
Bill must have been (or must not have been, I can never remember which one it is) wearing a parka during fantasy this week.
ReplyDeleteHmm, or you could not follow him on Twitter. What a novel concept.
ReplyDeleteOr he could follow the same rules that he gave down to us plebes. That too would be novel.
ReplyDeleteIf Simmons can write thousand word articles on how much he hates watching the Red Sox (the games are too long!) when he can fucking watch other shit, FJM can write short blog entries making fun of him.
ReplyDeleteHere's another novel idea,if you don't like the writting at FJM, don't read it.
As an aside, "Kool Kats" is a god awful fantasy name. Even if that name is somehow ironic in some context, it's still horrible.
ReplyDeleteIF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE SPORTSWRITERS WHY DON'T YOU JUST IGNORE THEM????
ReplyDelete-clueless fucktard commenter
Hey Larry B (tits name btw), the only thing stupider then comments like those is when authors (or best butt buddies of authors in your case) feel the need to point them out and call the commentator a fucktard.
Face it, this format you've chosen (stolen actually) is going to generate those kind of comments.
So to recap: Folks are going to rightly suggest you ignore "writers you hate," and also rightly point out that you stole this shtick and are shittier at it than the people you stole it from. Responding to these comments make you look like a bigger douche than Mitch Albom.
Dude you should totally take down Mitch Albom. Except that it's been done and by people a lot funnier. omg lol
1. You seem to be a fan of Fire Joe Morgan, and yet you also seem to suggest that if we don't like a writer, we should just ignore them (and by extension not have a site). Isn't that a bit hypocritical on your part?
ReplyDelete2. Believe it or not, but Ken Tremendous et all did not invent line by line literary criticism. By the same logic, The Onion is a rip-off of National Lampoon. Furthermore, our shtick is entirely different. While Fire Joe Morgan does the whole Fremulon Insurance bit, which is always hilarious, we have our own more shitty shtick which is noticeably different.
3. We'll never know how well the Fire Joe Morgan guys would've responded to similar comments because they never allowed people to comment publicly on their site.
4. Sorry you don't find our site funny. Obviously you have a very refined pallet for comedy, as evidenced by referring to us as "best butt buddies."
I just keep trying to get ignored by you guys. It's not working. You really need to let me know what is up. Yup, you keep showing me.
ReplyDelete/wow
/why do they care what I think?
/bet they will tell me...
Guys, it's time to admit it- we're not as good at writing funny stuff as guys who write funny stuff for a living.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. I am a fucktard. You own me. I am sorry. I would like to pay your blogging expenses for the next month. Whom shall I make out the check to?
ReplyDeleteBut I never told you who I think you stole it from, so how do you know "from a source that isn't actually blah blah blah."
ReplyDeleteI KNOW where you got it from dude.#
I think you analysis is spot on. I agree with the vast majority of it.
I don't hate your site. Your site hates me.
# so who did you really steal it from? want to use this info against you later.
Ah, what an age we have been born into
ReplyDelete