Saturday, May 8, 2010

IT'S NAWT FAY-UHHHHH!!!

Never before in the history of sports have a city's NBA, NHL, and MLB teams all lost on the same day. Ever. So let's all cut Bill Simmons some slack and let him wallow in self-pity, OK? Or, alternatively, let's review some of his tweets from yesterday and laugh at them.

Tonight: Huge C's home playoff game, B's playing for Conf Finals, big Sox-Yanks Fenway tilt... Are we back in the mid-80's?

He's so excited!
Also, other than 1986, there were no seasons during the "mid" 80s (assuming neither 1981 nor 1988 counts) during which both the Red Sox and Yankees finished within 10 games of making the playoffs. Anyways, let's move to the middle of the Cavs/Celtics game.

Early start + awful traffic + late-arriving crowd + Jay-Z + locked-in LeBron + pro-Cle refs + flat Pierce = this sucks.

THE REFS AHHHHH AGAINST US! THE LEAGUE HATES US! Granted, the league probably wants LeBron to win a title. But I doubt they'd shed any tears if the Celtics won the series.

(This exchange sums it up.) My Dad: "Nate gave us a spark." Me: "We're down 26!" Dad: "Yeah, but we were down 30."

I hate you, Bill's dad. You sound like a twatmunch. So how did the day finish up?

It's official: Black Friday in Boston. Glad I flew cross-country to be here. I'm gonna go wander in traffic.

BLACK FRIDAY. WOE IS US. THE BRUINS ARE ONLY UP 3-1 IN THEIR SERIES, THE CELTICS ARE DOWN 2-1, AND THE RED SOX LAWST A SINGLE GAME IN A 162 GAME SEASON. What a fucking loser Bill is. It boggles my mind. This is almost as hilarious as last October, when the Patriots lost and the Red Sox were knocked out of the playoffs on the same day, making it "Black Sunday."

And ate a whole wheel of cheese. I'm not even mad. RT @sehart: LBJ just pooped in your refrigerator.

Like in that movie that everyone has seen and likes to quote!


5 comments:

  1. The Red Sox-Yankees being a "historic" rivalry is one of the biggest crock of bullshit in sports. It's a wonderful rivalry....RIGHT NOW. Otherwise you have about an 80 year gap where either the Yankees were competitive and the Red Sox were a joke (largely because of their refusal to sign black players) and a couple years here and there where the Yankees were non-factors and the Red Sox either did or did not compete.

    I'm not sure if that has anything to do with this post, but I feel like we should always bring it up.

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  2. I think "late-arriving crowd" reflects poorly on Boston fans. It's uncharacteristic of Bill to suggest anything that might impugn Boston's character as the greatest sports town on this planet.

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  3. Anybody going to take down the latest from Rick Reilly, especially his first paragraph or so? His three examples of people who come from backgrounds similar to Dez Bryant are fucking hilarious.

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  4. IT'S NOT THE CROWDS FAWWWLT, TRAAAFIC WAS AWWWFUL!!!

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