Friday, December 4, 2009

Hey want to see an example of terrible logic? Reader participation Friday edition!

This will be brief. In Jeff Pearlman's article about Hofstra canceling their football program because they can't afford it anymore (an event Pearlman associates not with Hofstra's football program's failure to be profitable but rather with what he perceives to be their shifting of priority from sports to academics) he closes with this fucking gem:



At Notre Dame last week, Jack Swarbrick, the overwhelmed athletic director, said in a statement that, "We have great expectations for our football program, and we have not been able to meet those expectations." Hence, he was firing his coach.

At Hofstra yesterday, Rabinowitz said in a statement that, "If we are to continue our momentum and strive to become one of the nation's best institutions of higher education, standing for excellence in every way, we must invest in academics and programs in which we can compete at the highest level." Hence, he was ending his program.

Now ask yourself this: Which school would you pick?


Reader participation alert! Best snarky answer wins a hallmark e-card from me!
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7 comments:

  1. Larry BDecember 4, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    I think I would pick the school with the better academic, athletic, and social reputation.

    So of course I'm talking about Florida State.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TonusDecember 4, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    I'd pick the one that didn't make Bob Davie, Tyrone Willingham head coaches, and gave Charlie Weis a fucking ten year contract. Higher education, buddy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. dan-bobDecember 4, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    Jeff Pearlman is just mad because Delaware U. football sucks!

    ReplyDelete
  4. FormerPhDDecember 4, 2009 at 5:12 PM

    Dear Chris W,

    I had the option to pick between Princeton and Dartmouth. I don't know whether it was my teenage laziness or not, but then I remembered the article you posted about how Hofstra was investing in academics, so I decided to attend there. Thank you for making the most important decision of my life!

    signed,

    A douchey Bill Simmons mailbager

    ReplyDelete
  5. Venezuelan Beaver CheeseDecember 4, 2009 at 9:33 PM

    "Football: Cornell-Hofstra. Slaughter!"

    You know you're not good at this whole athletics thing when even the 'Nard Dog rips on you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mr. SamuraiDecember 5, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    In pristine West Islip, Long Island, where flowers bloom in the shadow of the work of art that is the Nassau Coliseum, is a campus defined not by a certain film about a priest improperly using his position of authority to get a transfer student with sub-par grades admitted to college, but by a university with a Raider-like "commitment to excellence".

    Hofstra University: We gave Wayne Chrebet concussions before it was cool.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AdamDecember 7, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    Is that a opening paragraph of a Plaschke column?

    ReplyDelete