I have never. Not once in my life. Not NEVER. Never heard such a prolonged and hyperbolic dicksucking of an athlete as Thom Brennaman gave to Tim Tebow last night.
Never.
My favorite quote went something along the lines of: "“In such a cynical, sarcastic society, oftentimes looking for the negative on anybody or anything, if you’re fortunate enough to spend five minutes or 20 minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it.”" And he said that, or a permutation thereof, like 7 or 8 times throughout the night.
Shut the fuck up and call the game. Wipe the spiz off your chin, and tell me what's going on on the field.
Congrats to the Gators, etc.
That is all.
I heard that statement too and it made me want to smash my TV. But then I calmed down and asked myself What Would Tebow Do? I dropped my my knees, said a prayer to my lord and savior Jesus H. Tebow, and just knew that my life was better for it.
ReplyDeleteGod I hate announcers.
I doubt anyone else watched the pregame (and why would you), but I bet it was worse. I smartly chose to listen to music while watching fox on mute, so I can't say for sure. But for the 30 minutes of pregame I watched, the only time they mentioned Oklahoma (besides their band) was to reference the cornerback's comment about Tebow being the 4th best QB in the big 12- which, if wrong, is only because harrell is overrated. And after that, they spent 5 minutes talking about how you shouldn't rile tebow up like that, because now he will punish the sooners. Also, they did a bit with the best speeches of all time (JFK, maybe MLK,etc) then tebow's teary-eyed promise to america that the gators would try harder than anyone ever has. I thought it was tongue-in-cheek, until the segment ended and the announcer had an orgasm on tv. I get it- he does nice things for other people and tries really hard. He's also a so-so quarterback (he's an amazing competitor, for sure, but there's a reason nfl teams don't want to draft him as a qb) but announcers refuse to mention this. Tebow, please declare for the draft so I don't have to take another year of this, or else I might slit my wrists. Come on, you'd do it if I was Filipino or in prison.
ReplyDeleteThe best part is that Thom Brennaman was too busy verbally slobbing Tebow's know to notice that Tebow was actually having a pretty mediocre game.
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable.
ReplyDeleteHow could my life possibly be improved after being around some pampered college quarterback for five minutes.
I can't wait to watch him implode when he gets to the NFL.
Hope he enjoys his brief career with the Lions.