Oh, I know. We'll invent this little segment/thingy called "Keys to the Game," in which we come up with something totally irrelevant and confusing that the teams playing today are allegedly focusing on. And then we'll get a corporation to pay for the right to attach their name to it. Ahhhhhhh. Life is easy as hell when you own a major TV network.
Last night's Ford/Miller High Life/Viagra/Cialis/Just For Men/Wrangler KsTTG for game three of the NLCS on FOX-
Phillies: Change of venue- same winning menu?
So basically, can the Phillies win the game? This isn't even a statement, it's a question. And it's the most generic question you could possibly ask, other than perhaps "Phillies: are they a baseball team?" And it's been shoehorned into one of the most awkward analogies I've ever seen. Sure, playing sports is just like ordering food at a restaurant. I think that's pretty self evident. The best part of this was listening to Tim McCarver read it.
Dodgers: Remember August 30th (when they beat Dan Haren)
Yeah, that's perfect. Dan Haren is starting for the Phillies tonight, right? No? Well, surely the Phillies are starting someone who pitches like him. A RHP with a good sinker who throws in the low 90s. No? Jamie Moyer's nothing like that? O....K. Well, I can definitely see why this would be a key to tonight's game.
As I see them, here are the ever-present "Keys to the Post" for us here at FireJay:
1. Use computer?
2. Fat people jokes
3. Sports, or maybe other stuff
4. Rip off other blogs, as fun as playing with POGS
5. Very outdated references
My slammer was the best in all of Grapevine Elementary.
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't believe the amount of damage you can do to drywall with a slammer and a strong arm.
ReplyDeleteI've seen so many bad keys to the game. Previously the worst of which basically just said something to the effect of "win game". However, that bit about the Dodgers is an official new low. That is fucking horrible.
ReplyDeleteAlso LOL @ #4
Sooo,
ReplyDeleteThe Philles keys to winning the game is to win the game.
The Dodgers key to winning the game is to remember when they beat a good pitcher, not because he is similar to the guy currently pitching for the Phils, but because they had to play well to beat Haren and if they also play well in this game the'll probably win.
So to summarize : The Phillies key to the game is to win the game; The Dodgers key to the winning the game is to play well which will probably result in winning the game.
World class analysis by Tim McCarver, baseball genius!
"KsTTG"? What the hell?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it supposed to be "KttG"? Who do we fire for this?
firelarryb.blogspot.com was registered a long time ago by one of our commenters, I believe.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I watch an NFL game I feel like I'm watching a long commercial with some NFL breaks in between.
ReplyDeletealf is back. in pog form. alf that is.
ReplyDelete