But I think enough random clutter has accumulated in my brain from the past few days to justify a post.
1) Besides my dream girl Le Ann Schreiber, E:60 might be the best thing ESPN has going for it. No, it's not perfect- I realize not everyone is going to agree on the quality of the reporters. Some people hate Jeremy Schaap, others don't care for Lisa Salters. Whatever. I for one like all of them in this particular capacity, especially Tom Farrey. (I think we can all agree that Rachel Nichols is an absolute disaster when she's doing pregame reports on Sportscenter. But like I said, she does alright for herself here.) The stories they cover are almost always entertaining, and I don't mind the cheesy "production meeting" background setting. Consider me an E:60 fan. If it's on, I'm watching it. Without complaining. Which, as you may or may not be able to guess, is a pretty rare occurence.
2) Fuck. Ing. Hell. Tony Kornheiser- you are the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel, biggest piece of poop, worst TV commentator of all time. The worst. I can no longer watch Monday Night Football with the sound on because of you. (Which is unfortunate, because Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski are reasonably good together.) You're OK on PTI. Actually, I think PTI has been getting a little stale lately, but it's still a good forum for you. And your writing ranges from above average to below average. But your MNF performance... oh my God. Just shut up. You're atrocious. STOP ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS. (Re: Reggie Bush: "Wow, how good is this guy?") THAT DOESN'T WORK WHEN YOU'RE COMMENTATING A LIVE SPORTING EVENT. Jesus leghumping Christ. ESPN- get someone else. Anyone else. I don't care if it's Joe Morgan. Just get this clown out of the booth.
3) I'm really looking forward to the ALCS as televised by TBS. You know why? Because Buck Martinez will be in the booth. I don't know if you watched much or any of the Angels/Red Sox ALDS... but the guy is even worse while calling a game than he is on XM. I didn't get a chance to liveblog any of those ALDS games, but please believe I will block out at least one evening this time around. The guy is too awful to miss.
4) Speaking of which, I am pooping in a cardboard box and mailing it to the next writer or announcer who points out that player X "doesn't care if he goes 0 for 5, as long as his team wins!" Oh yeah, you fucking think? In the playoffs, especially? You're trying to tell me that these guys would rather advance closer to a ring and a hefty World Series bonus check than bloop in a couple singles and go home after the first round? Fuck you and your crazy brain. That's bonkers. Here's a list of players who would place individual accomplishments over team success in the playoffs: Ricky Davis. That's it. (Note: two shits in two separate boxes if the player referenced by the writer/announcer in the above situation is Dustin Pedroia. He's small, he's white, he plays for the Red Sox, the media loves him, WE FUCKING GET IT.)
Have a nice Wednesday! TMQR forthcoming sometime tomorrow. Hopefully.
HEY,
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the Ricky Davis bashing? Ricky Davis is awesome. Am I the last remaining RD fan?
rachel nichols (I think it was her) wasted 15 minutes of my life this morning talking to some hockey player about his doll and fashion obsessions, so she's on the shit list
ReplyDeleteshow highlights or show nothing espn
i'm looking forward to that TMQR because he called out a team for not going on it on fourth down from their own 20, with 9 minutes left, down by like 10 or 13.
ReplyDelete'Gelo- Disagree, that story was interesting as hell. What a fucking anomaly that guy is. How many pro athletes have stories like that? And it wasn't a puff piece, necessarily. It wasn't about how great he is. It was mostly about how strange he is. I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteBuck isn't that bad. He's no Vin Scully but he did have one classic exchange with Chip Caray which I loved:
ReplyDelete[Chip Caray is an idiot who was getting on my nerves the whole series by both being bad and irritating at calling the games and practically openly rooting for the Angels. I hate Chip Caray:]
So Chip comes out with something like
"Well you know the Blue Jays and Orioles have some bad pitchers but you don't know how really bad they are because they play in such a tough division so they may not be quite as terrible as we think they are!"
Without missing a beat Buck answers:
"Well I know people don't talk about them much but the Blue Jays actually have the best pitching staff in the AL"
Chip: "*stunned silence*"
It was a classic...
I'll take Buck Martinez over Tim McCarver, Joe Morgan or or most of the other network idiots any day.
Also, X- Thanks for taking the bait. And just know that I love RD too. Anyone who tries to get a triple double by intentionally missing a shot on their own basket and grabbing the rebound is my hero.
ReplyDeleteIr- Buck is not as bad as Morgan, but he's on the same level as McCarver. He's pretty clueless, and yes, he absolutely loves scrappy little white guys.
ReplyDeleteI can handle Buck once in awhile. If I had to listen to him every Sunday like Morgan, maybe not so much.
ReplyDeleteI hate Kornheiser. Hate him on MNF, hated his radio show. I've only seen
PTI a couple times, so I don't hate him on it. I've never understood all his fanbase throughout blogdom. He's just godawful.
Buck Martinez does most road games for Orioles. He should be placed in a cannon and shot to the moon.
ReplyDeleteI actually somewhat enjoy Kornheiser on PTI, but I've never read anything of his, so can someone please explain how he is SO awful on MNF?
ReplyDeleteEverything he says sounds like he wrote it during the week and practiced saying it in front of a mirror until it lost any semblance of spontaneity.
Maybe he needs Wilbon next to him to be even remotely entertaining.
Simmons writes a good article on Elgin Baylor, Hill writes yet another terrble race based article, and TMQ still sucks.
ReplyDeleteSo many choices, so little time.
lb:
ReplyDeletele anne is MAH gurl. mitts off!
regards:
dan-bob