I'm not trying to pat myself on the back or anything here, but this might be the best copout post of all time. Feel free to leave your thoughts as to why this bit sucks and never really got off the ground. Or, don't leave your thoughts and let your silence speak volumes. Even if you don't participate, you participate! Everyone wins, even me.
If all else fails, feel free to start an argument about one of the following to get yourself through the day:
-the length of the NBA playoffs
-the DH
-Roger Goodell's heavy-handed punishments
-the Olympics: does anyone care? (I personally do, no sarcasm, but I seem to be in the minority)
-John Daly: jolly or dangerous?
-gun control/prayer in schools/abortion
Enjoy the beginning of your weekend.
The NBA playoffs are way too short, in my opinion. Unless you want to see more NHL and ChiSox highlights on Sportscenter, then they are the longest playoffs in all of professional sports. By 1.5 days. But those are a long 1.5 days.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Summer Olympics are awesome.
To answer your question about REPF, I think it'd do better on a Monday. More need for distracted energy on a Monday.
The DH is ruining baseball! Stay off the lawn, damn teenagers with your "Skateboards" and "hoola hoops." When I was growing up, pitchers had to hit, run, field, and walk uphill to the ballpark, both ways, in the snow, during a heatwave.
ReplyDeleteHey, the meta-store called. They said your joke was stupid.
ReplyDeleteAlright, you want a rant? I'll give you a rant. It's an outrage that Kobe Bryant won the MVP this season. It's an embarrassment to the league and an insult to Bryant himself.
ReplyDeleteHere are his accomplishments in the 2005-2006 season;
-outscored the Dallas Mavericks 62-61 through three quarters, the only time this had been done since the advent of the 24 second shot clock.
-scored 81 points against the Toronto Raptors, breaking the franchise record by ten points and second highest point total in NBA history
-in January, became the first player in over forty years to score 45 or more in four consecutive games, and averaged 43.4ppg, the highest monthly average for any player besides Chamberlain
-set franchise records for most 40 point games (27) and points scored (2,832) and won the leagues scoring title
do you want to know where he finished in the MVP voting? Fucking fourth, FOURTH!
In 2006-2007;
-scored 65 points against the Portland Tral Blazers, followed by totals of 50, 60 and 50 against Minnesota, Memphis and New Orleans. This made him the second player in NBA history (after Chamberlain) to have four straight 50+ point games. No player had had three since Jordan in 1987.
-had ten 50+ point games, again second to only Chamberlain.
-won his second straight scoring title.
This is ridiculous. If he couldn't win it in either season he should never win it, putting an adult Bynum and a multiple All-Star next to him doesn't change his performance at all, and it sure as hell doesn't make him more valuable, it makes him less.
This season, Kobe was on the floor less than any time in the last four years and actually shot worse (not just scored less, shot worse) than last year. His averages this year are approximately the same as his averages in the last four years, he has not changed at all, in fact, he's had a mediocre statistical season by his remarkably high standards.
Bryant winning this award is essentially saying personal performance is almost irrelevant when choosing between the top four or five players in the game - you can play WORSE with better team mates and actually win the award. If Gasol does not come and Bynum does not develop, the Lakers win 44-46 games tops, and there is no way Paul does not win the award.
Not only does Paul have mind bending numbers, he has also recovered from severe injuries in 2006-2007 and has essentially captured the nations imagination. It's not all just numbers
-this piece by Eric Neel was written just today, http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=neel/080508&sportCat=nba, the great blog freedarko.blogspot.com has anoited him the man to lead basketball as art through the post Suns years
I'm at work and don't have the opportunity I'd like to show you how many articles I have read that have reported about Paul in such glowing terms, waxing poetical about this kid. He INSPIRES people to watch basketball, let alone a city that has suddenly turned into NBA heartland.
And of course the numbers are extraordinary, representing a zenith, not just of Paul's career, but essentially of the point guard position, numbers that make Nash blush and defensive acumen that that two time award winner never reached. The Hornets were complete afterthoughts and ASTONISHINGLY, beat out the Spurs, Mavericks and Rockets for the crown of the hardest division in the NBA. The odds of that happening at the start of the year probably would have been about 50 to 1 and Paul overcame all that.
Kobe got better players around him; the only thing that changed for Norleans was that Paul was finally healthy. New Orleans improved by TWENTY SEVEN games! LA only improved by twenty five despite adding one of the top fifteen players in the NBA and having a previous non-factor become a top five centre for half a season.
Paul led the league in both steals and assists, in fact he registered a steal in all 80 games he played in, a monumental achievement. Paul also shot an incredible 48.8% from the field, higher than Bryant despite his natural disadvantage in the post due to his size.
I cannot believe this has all gone with barely a peep. The Hornets without Paul would probably be a 32-35 win team, their position in the Western Conference would probably be inverted, Kobe Bryant has the worst statistical year in the last three years and he gets the chocolates because he's standing next to Pau Gasol now.
It's a joke and a disgrace.
Here's another Paul virtual blowjob - http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2008/05/chris-paul-is-magician.html#links
ReplyDeleteI will answer 2 of your questions:
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I do enjoy the summer olympics. Winter, aside from hockey, not so much.
Also, John Daly is both jolly and dangerous. "Jolangerous" if you will. Dude likes to have a good time, but I'm wary of anyone who deliberately injures himself to beat a domestic violence accusation (allegedly).
Why did Reader Participation Fridays fail? Because as bad as you guys are at this stuff, we're even worse!
ReplyDeleteJimmy Stewart - I agreed with most of what you wrote (that I actually read). You can be the most valuable player and not have your team in first place. (Real) writers are morons about this.
ReplyDeleteLarry - I considered Reader Extra Participation Friday to be a huge success (compared to traffic on my site). I don't know - maybe make it a reader poll friday or something to spark some debate. Or just sell out and put a picture of a hot chick. None of this pussy red carpet Big Lead stuff either - I'm talking hard core nudity. Maybe one working a stripper pole. Reader Pole Friday. Maybe once a month get a real stripper to do a lap dance for whatever reader has the best answer. Or have sex with him (not you, the stripper/whore). Just hook up with escort services around the country to have them service the best reader commenter person of the month. Maybe of the week. You can pay for this by selling drugs. There's huge margins to be had there. Also, it wouldn't hurt to actually kill Jay Mariotti - to get the site some more press. More press = more traffic = more comments. Have pnoles or someone else do it though. Or do it and frame him. Like put some of his hair and blood at the crime scene and get his prints on the weapon.
If Jay Mariotti died, and our traffic spiked, I am not sure how I would feel.
ReplyDeleteLarryb,
ReplyDeleteI think you need to give out better prizes than old twizzlers from your parent's basement in order to kick off RPF again. In fact, I'm still waiting on my prize from week 2.
Jeff,
I think you would get more traffic if you posted more dude. I like your site, but I only check it like once a week becuase I know I'm gonna see that Plascke article everytime I check. Hasn't Jemele written anything offensive lately?
I don't want anyone to die, but if John Elway, Hawk Harrelson or Ozzie Guillen finally sought out Jay and bludgeoned him badly with a hard object, then I would say it would be a pretty successful day. He deserved it after all.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't care about the Olympics but I do think Jimmy Stewart has a point. Though honestly, most postseason awards are a crock of shit anyway, and that is the reason I don't really care about them. They are basically senior superlatives, which are popularity votes, which means in sports it means nothing to me. I agree Paul should have won the award this year, but Kobe probably should have won in the past also.
My stance on abortion is very simple, and I don't see why more people don't adopt it.
ReplyDeleteI'm anti-life and anti-choice.
I fully support abortions, but I don't think that women should have the right to choose. Part of me thinks a lottery for reproductive rights could be a fun revenue generator, but I realize that's not practical.
However, there should be an institution that licenses people to become parents. You need a license to drive a car, or own a gun, or spank a Guatemalan hooker with a spatula crusted over with pancake batter, and having a child is way more of a responsibility than any of those things.
You guys are the best bunch of regular commenters a shitty blogger could ask for. (And that includes you, anonymous.) My day is officially made.
ReplyDeleteAgree with you, CitizenX, about the parenting thing. Bad parenting is why we have Lawrence Phillips and Chris Benoit. Well, hadChris Benoit. Too soon?
You guys are the best bunch of regular commenters a shitty blogger could ask for.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I waited until after Larry said that to post. I feel like Bender in that one Futurama episode where, desperate to become a Harlem Globetrotter, he manages to enter the room ten seconds after everybody there is made an honorary Globetrotter. God, I'm so desperate for Larry's approval.
In my defense, I was watching Twins, which I think you'd all have to agree really does have to come before anything else.
Quickly (and I mean regular quickly, not quickly by my standards):
NBA playoffs - make them longer just for the reaction it'd provoke from Chris W.
The DH - largely a very good thing, although you remember the 18-inning Houston-Atlanta playoff game from a couple years ago, where Clemens got up to bat in the 18th and was clearly trying to hit a home run? I'd hate to lose moments that inane.
Roger Goodell - he's been quiet lately...too quiet.
Olympics - not really, although Cool Runnings is a hell of a film.
John Daly - I feel he needs Colin Montgomerie to balance him out, and I'd support a reality show combining the two.
I read the last one as "either gun control or prayer in either schools or abortion", which did seem like a very specific issue.
By the way, by participating after Larry had unofficially drawn things to a close, did I actually find the one way to not participate?
Nah, not too early for a Chris Benoit comment. It's been a year or so.
ReplyDeleteI am actually starting to agree with you CitizenX on the parenting issue.
And yes Archie, you did find the one way to not participate at all. Congrats.
And yes Archie, you did find the one way to not participate at all. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteThank you. You know, I like to think of myself as a blogger's blogger. And, by that, I do of course mean the biggest fucking loser on the planet. My comments here (not to mention my blog, which generally I try very hard not to mention) provide ample evidence of that, I'd say.
Alright guys, there's Archie. Let's get out of here.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, it's OK, I was leaving anyway...
ReplyDelete/Dries a single tear, lets the others fall to the ground
Don't worry, Archie. This is a John Hughes movie. You're going to make it in the end.
ReplyDeleteDoes the end of the John Hughes movie involve Danica Patrick running over her crew member and then not apologizing for it and just saying he is in her prayers?
ReplyDeleteIf so, then this is going to be a great movie.
Pretty much, Ben, but everyone gets hit in the nuts first.
ReplyDeleteEspecially Danica.
Don't worry, Archie. This is a John Hughes movie. You're going to make it in the end.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if this is really a John Hughes movie, I think it ends with me realizing Larry was never the blogger for me anyway, and I should go with that oh-so-quirky other blogger who has been there for me all along.
anonymous, Anonymous, Chirs Hart
ReplyDeleteNothing more really needs to be said.
By the way, I really enjoy your blog, thanks for providing great entertainment.
ReplyDeleteJ.S.
Jimmy Stewart, I really enjoyed your elongated rant on Kobe Bryant. There are many reasons that post season awards are a crock of shit and you focused on a lot of them. Sometimes I feel like I post comments that are too long but you have made me feel better about that now.
ReplyDeleteThanks to the John Hughes reference I have had "Don't You Forget About Me" in my head for the past 12 hours. Thanks a lot.
There is no such thing as a comment that's too long. Eveyone, please- let your feelings out. This is the place to do so. Unless you're stupid.
ReplyDeleteWhat if I'm not personally stupid, but my comments are? I mean, what if my friend's comments are stupid? That's right...my friend.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that ought to fool him.