Billy: Still The Shittier Ripken Brother

Cal and Billy have a show together on XM. Now, I have to confess that I've never listened to said show. But I did hear Billy appear as a guest on Buck Martinez's show this morning, and given some of the things he said, I think it's fair to assume his talent as a radio personality lags just as far behind his Cal's as his baseball playing ability used to.

Re: the Royals, Orioles, and Marlins and their hot start:

They've just been playing good, solid, fundamental baseball. That's what you like to see.

Excellent point. That's as good as reason as any I can think of. I mean, why did the Patriots go undefeated during the regular season last fall? By playing good, solid, fundamental football. The New Orleans Hornets and their surprisingly fantastic season? You guessed it. Good, solid, fundamental baseball. I mean basketball. The 1927 Yankees? Yup. Meanwhile, elsewhere in baseball, this kind of logic can be used to explain why certain teams are struggling. I hear the Tigers have been throwing opposite handed and trying to hit with bowling pins, fluorescent light tubes, and anything else they can find that might be hilariously misused as a bat. The Astros' position players have been doing dizzy bat relay races in the clubhouse tunnel before taking the field every inning. The Nationals won that exciting game first (domestic) game of the season two Sundays ago, and then specifically said to themselves, "Alright, guys. We got that first win under our belts. So we're done playing good, solid, fundamental baseball. Just bullshit from now on."

Re: What he would say to his players, were he the manager of one of the above-mentioned unexpected division leaders:

You know, I'd tell them, just keep on rolling with it.

I mean, I know managers don't really do that much, but, uh... I think you'd probably want to offer your players a little something more than that. How about "I like the way we've been playing, but we can't assume the whole season is going to be this easy. Don't let this go to your heads." Or maybe "God damn it, if you assholes build up expectations too much, it's going to cost me my job when we finish 67-95 anyways. How about we take it easy for a few games." But I guess going with the same thing you'd usually shout at a jam band rocking out on stage is acceptable too.

Re: Detroit's slow start:

Anytime you get off to a slow start, that's going to sting you early.

Consider yourselves stung early, Tigers fans. Yes, it's analysis like this that earned Billy the nickname "Fuck Face". Don't worry, the link is SFW. (Does anyone have one of those? I bet my friend Adam, who loves the Orioles and whose nickname also happens to be Fuck Face, would give you a lot of money for it.)

Oh, and I was about to end the post, when I remembered that later in the afternoon I heard Rob Dibble say something along the lines of:

Join us for "The Show" tomorrow, when we discuss the impact injuries are having on early playoff races.

I'm not saying every game doesn't count. Just ask the 2007 Phillies, Mets, Rockies, or Padres. But really, should we be talking about injuries in that particular context on April 10th? The question is not rhetorical. The answer is: Maybe. Probably not. Definitely not. Rob Dibble, and the producer who wrote that teaser for him, are silly geese.