It's Not That I Particularly Like Rick Morrissey...

...but this is a very good article. If every sports journalist could follow the lead Morrissey at least lays out in this article, this site might not exist.

Here's some highlights:

If you use swear words, as Guillen did, you might be referred to in the newspaper as "potty mouthed," a term that is so matronly, it's hard to know where to begin. If this keeps up, the Sox aren't going to need a manager, they're going to need a schoolmarm.

This is absolutely 100% true. In case you hadn't heard about the flap, AJ Pierzynski was on the Mike North sportstalk radio show on AM 670 in Chicago. AJ criticized manager Ozzie Guillen's decision to start backup catcher Toby Hall in the meaningless first game of the meaningless interleague series vs. the Cubs. Ozzie called in to confront AJ and North, and let drop a few "shit"s on live radio.

Some columnists in Chicago acted like this was a crime against humanity, the latest in Ozzie's various sins against the pure-hearted baseball loving public. I don't think Rick Morrissey or I are trying to say it's ok that Ozzie cursed on the airwaves, but the fact is, everyone who listens to sports talk radio has heard the word "Shit" before. It's also likely that most everyone who listens to sports talk radio has said the word "shit" before. Every baseball coach I've ever had has used the word "shit" before and I didn't respect them any less for it. So I guess what Rick Morrissey's trying to say here, and what I would echo, and will echo, is that it's not that big a deal.

Say what you will about the decline in decorum in American culture, but that's the way it is. You may say that this is sending the message that it's ok to say "shit" in casual conversation. But guess what: it is. When you reach a certain age (let's say, 18) it doesn't become a big deal. If the situation calls for it (say, you ding up your car on a lamp post, or drop a brick on your toe, or have some shithead catcher on your team question your judgment) you curse. And people generally understand.

Too bad the airwaves, FCC, and moral compass of the media is always harping on completely ridiculous, irrelevant shit. The whole Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction, for instance, was completely ridiculous. It was a fucking stupid publicity stunt, but to use that to completely enforce state sponsored censorship seemed to be an extreme. The party line "we must protect our kids from ever seeing tit again" seemed to belie a kind of accepted ignorance to the fact that football is a violent sport played by assholes. The fact that the NFL wants the Super Bowl, a collection of ruthless borderline criminals running into eachother (beautifully) at high speeds, to be a "family entertainment hour" despite the fact that it's hopelessly violent and mostly unappealing to the majority of women is underscored every year by nauseatingly saccharine half-time shows (even the most innocuous of which are always protested by clueless morons....see this year's phallic silhouette flap for proof) and "the commercials" (as in the ever-annoying "I only watch it for the commercials").

Meanwhile Roger Goddell and David Stern continue to bite the hand that feeds them, eschewing the fact that NFL and NBA's immense popularity in urban milieus (which separate the two leagues in the race for nationwide popularity and ad revenue and luxury box sales from the less popular-in-urban-areas MLB) comes largely from the "street cred" of the two leagues. David Stern is the biggest perpetrator of this shilling and shucking, basically spitting in the face of his urban audience with dress codes and ridiculous suspension policies in preference of the luxury box crowd. Goddell merely enforces a behavior code that seems predicated on suspicion of guilt---something that inevitably seems to vilify certain athletes while ignoring the fact that the league is mostly full of generally criminal ex-collegiates who inevitably lived a lawless life as college players, taking payoffs, showing up to class when they felt like it, and having sex in degrading ways with innumerable groupies. The fact that players like Michael Vick, Terrell Owens and Randy Moss are portrayed as some sort of outsiders, aberration, execptional assholes, and so on, instead of as the rule, while, paradoxically decent guys (who, in my opinion are the vast exception rather than the status quo) like Donovan McNabb and LaDainian Tomlinson are lauded for their being decent human beings---I guess what I'm trying to say is the league sort of acknowledges that most everyone is a scoundrel, but also singles out people for having bad attitudes. It really reminds me of a very funny Onion article about Ray Allen. This one, I mean.

Like, for example, remember Mark Chmura making that very public statement after the Packers's Super Bowl win that he wouldn't go to the White House to accept a congratulations from Clinton because of Clinton's "immoral behavior"...About a year later Chmura was arrested for statutory rape. He was, of course, inevitably acquitted when it was determined that all he did was take the 17-year old girl into the bathroom, lock the door, force her pants off and manually, and only manually, show her the meaning of tight end. Not to single Chewie out excessively, but I think this is a beautiful metaphor for sports journalism today. All the Schillings, Mariottis, Baylesses, and Dr. Z's of the world pointing a finger at the crumbums and ne'er-do-wells of the sports world with 4 fingers pointing back at them. Just saying.

But I digress. Morrissey says this better than I anyway. Let's let his words do the talking:

I'm not sure what's left for them anymore. No swearing. No off-color jokes. No having disagreements with teammates. And, please, whatever you do, no youthful indiscretions. Don't make mistakes as 18-year-olds that you will be spanked for again and again later. Don't dare do that because there's no statute of limitations on immaturity.


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I don't walk with my knuckles dragging behind me, nor can I make a side part with the hair on my back. But sometimes I squirm at what is happening in my profession. It's not that the blowhards are winning, which is bad enough. It's that the blowhards are commando Puritans on the lookout for sinners.

That's why a manager who swears or a figure-skating judge who cheats can get the same indignant treatment as the football player who gets arrested three times in less than two years. It's all the same. There's no distinction, just the same reaction: The humanity!


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All of this poor behavior among athletes arouses some of the writers—in a very pure way, of course. They can't have this sort of thing in society. Next thing you know, we'll be tolerating sports owners who don't shell out big bucks to bring winners to a town that so richly deserves them.

Give me turmoil, not because of the benefits to a controversy-starved columnist like me. Just to know that there's a pulse. That they care. I'll take that anytime over a group that toes the line.

Guillen cares. So do his players. The rest of it is silly stuff.

Not the best-written article I've ever read, nor is Rick Morrissey guilt-free when it comes to writing stupid bullshit, but credit where credit is due. It's a breath of fresh air to hear this thing outside the blogosphere (god, do I love that term) and as an added bonus, it's almost like you can hear him pretending to clear his throat whilst coughing "Mariotti! Mariotti!" after every sentence.

Kudos, Rick Morrissey. Now just try to refrain from writing more "The Cubs are more important than the White Sox" articles for about a month or so.